The New Day are usually the act in WWE with their fingers planted most firmly on the pulse of popular culture. They’ve referenced the “Cash Me Ousside” girl, Supa Hot Fire, and Worldstar; three things WWE never would have even known about a handful of years ago. Now their latest feat is spoofing an infamous act not even a day old: the supreme Oscars debacle of 2017.
The New Day came out on Monday night’s episode of Raw and did their normal shilling of butt-flavored cereal and hyped their upcoming hosting gig at WrestleMania 33. Then they said they had a match against the Shining Stars, which brought out a hyped-up Primo and Epico. But whoops! It turns out they had the wrong envelope with their opponents in it.
Because that’s how matches work now in wrestling: they’ve moved to an envelope-based system. Yes, it turns out The New Day’s actual opponents were Handsome Rusev and Jinder Mahal, and The Shining Stars’ actual opponent for the evening was … The Big Show. But I’m sure that will go well for them.
There you have it, everyone: in official WWE canon, The Shining Stars are La La Land. I’ll allow that to sink in. Maybe you should start looking into timeshares. I know a nice island country where you can get a good deal on them.