The Assumptive WWE Smackdown Spoilers Report For April 28, 2016

Welcome to this week’s assumptive WWE Smackdown spoilers report, where we copy and paste-in somebody else’s Smackdown spoilers and jump to a bunch of conclusions about them. On this week’s show, we head into Payback by safely recreating the easiest parts of Raw. It’s Smackdown classic!

What Happens On This Week’s Smackdown:
(reminder: these are actual Smackdown spoilers)

– The show opened with Roman Reigns looking strong against The Miz. The middle and ending of the show were also Roman Reigns looking strong against The Miz, which is sorta like saying the sun looked strong against an ice cube.

1. Sami Zayn, Cesaro and Kalisto defeated Sheamus, Rusev and Alberto Del Rio. Here’s the official end of the League of Nations, with Rusev and ADR walking out on Sheamus. More like beleaguered nations, am I right? Also, shoutout to all my Hulu NXT homies who saw “Sami Zayn, Cesaro” and got all emotionally compromised by that pairing. He earned his respect!

2. Baron Corbin defeated Damien Sandow. Finally, some closure on that angle from Monday.

– Natalya, Charlotte and Ric Flair were guests on the Ambrose Asylum. Whoops, Ric Flair tells Natalya to kill herself.

3. Enzo Amore and Big Cass defeated The Social Outcasts. The New Day and The Vaudevillains watched the match. Adrian Neville and Oliver Grey watched from the crowd. Percy Watson and Yoshi Tatsu will face them to see who becomes the #2 contender. Okay, nothing after the first sentence is true, but how great would it be if Percy Watson and Yoshi Tatsu were suddenly a thing again and nobody explained it?

4. Apollo Crews defeated Stardust. Finally, some closure on that match with the clean ending from Monday.

5. Roman Reigns vs. The Miz ended with Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson attacking Roman. That led to a melee with The Usos and A.J. Styles. Shouldn’t Tama Tonga be involved in this somewhere? Anyway, the story of Payback continues to be, “we’re not sure what will happen, but it’s probably something!” so get hype for that.