Fewer promos in the history of professional wrestling are more iconic than the one “Stone Cold” Steve Austin gave upon winning the 1996 King Of The Ring tournament. As the story goes, Austin improvised the “Austin 3:16” line after being tipped off that his opponent, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, had talked about the Bible in his promo earlier in the night. And thus, a star was officially born.
Now, on the 20th anniversary of that infamous promo, WWE has rounded up some of its best and brightest (as well as whichever member of the Ascension isn’t currently suspended) to take a crack at one of the Texas Rattlesnake’s finest moments on the stick. Highlights include all three members of the New Day reenacting the whole scene (with Big E really nailing Michael Hayes’ facials), Dolph Ziggler actually getting Hayes to reprise his role and then Hayes himself having a go at it. (Who would have ever thought there would be three separate Michael Hayes-related highlights in anything in 2016?)
Lowlights include Big Cass apparently turning into a mannequin with no visible signs of human emotion (seriously, maybe they should’ve had Enzo take a stab at this one instead?) and Cesaro only getting .001 seconds of screentime, but at least he’s wearing a suit and sunglasses.
Sadly, one of the only current Superstars not included in the Austin 3:16 celebration is AJ Styles — although maybe that’s for the best…