George Zimmerman Reportedly Will Fight DMX Because Seriously This Is The Worst

02.05.14 4 years ago 56 Comments

As we mentioned a couple of days ago, George Zimmerman is looking for someone, anyone to fight (though he’s only been linked to fighting Black guys…but that’s all a coincidence, I’m sure). Well, look no further. According to TMZ, George Zimmerman appears to be heading to a bout with Earl Simmons. Better known as DMX.

It’s around midnight as I write this, so I’ve only heard the news maybe 10 minutes ago, so pardon me if this is a bit raw.

F*ck. This. Entire. Sh*t. F*ck it all.

Here’s why (on top of all the reasons I laid out last time)

1. DMX is going to lose this fight. George Zimmerman has been training in MMA fighting and boxing (and was doing so when he was “beaten up” by Trayvon Martin but that’s besides the point), and clearly is ready for a fight. DMX is 175 pounds soaking wet and has been focused on other things besides training and doesn’t seem to have the focus to do that going forward. He’s going to lose this fight.

2. DMX is perfect for George Zimmerman’s agenda. He’s a raging lunatic with a chemical dependency and well-documented issues laid out for the world to see on reality shows for the last 15 years. He’s what Zimmerman apologists think of as a Black man when they close their eyes. He’s a snarling, cursing version of what Zimmerman’s defense worked so hard to make America believe Trayvon Martin would grow up to be. He’s a perfect stand-in for the dangerous Black man, and his involvement in this fight only falls into Zimmerman’s hands.

3. I don’t know why DMX decided to do this fight. I’m sure some of it is a genuine desire to beat up a guy who killed a teenager. But some of it is probably a desire to cash in a check. Whatever the reason, shame on you for taking part in this bullish*t, DMX. You need money and fame that bad that you’ll play the role of Birth Of A Nation villain for George F*cking Zimmerman’s campaign? Zimmerman’s camp picked DMX out of 15,000 applicants. What do you think the criteria were? Martial arts background? Civility? They picked you for a reason, Earl. Hopefully you’ll realize why before it’s too late.

4. Pardon me for belaboring this point but: Rest in Peace and Power, Trayvon Martin. I hate that your loss of life has been treated as a jumping point for a guy’s celebrity career. But your memory and your life won’t be forgotten no matter how hard these worthless human beings try to determine otherwise.

Update: It looks like the rumor is closer to become fact, the nightmare one step closer to reality as Damon Feldman, the owner of Celebrity Boxing, tells CNN Zimmerman chose DMX out of thousands of applicants.

“[Damon Feldman, the owner of Celebrity Boxing] said last week that he was accepting offers for someone to step into the ring for a three-round, pay-per-view fight with Zimmerman.

“‘The news has been out for an hour and my e-mail is overloaded with 8,000 people wanting to fight George,’ Feldman told CNN on Thursday. Early Wednesday morning, he said he’s picked the contender. Out of more than 15,000 e-mailed requests, he’s going with DMX.”

But in order to find out where and when it will take place, we’ll have to wait until next week. Feldman said Wednesday he was shooting for March 15.

Previously: George Zimmerman Challenged Kanye West To A Fight Because F*** George Zimmerman

Note: A portion of this article has been edited since originally published.

Photo: Getty

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