Out in the lands that border the shores of Erie and among the rolling foothills of Texas–actually, just about anywhere in this great, God-fearing country–Johnny “Football” Manziel is god damn legend.
The Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and Cleveland Browns draft pick tore up SEC defenses during his college career at Texas A&M and has been immortalized in the musical Ruminations of Canadien singer-songwriter-throbbing heart, Drake. Lots and lots of stories and myth-building surround Manziel.
An additional piece of myth-building: this seemingly fake $25 million lawsuit that was filed under CNN’s Samantha Schacher name, reportedly because of Manziel’s sexual harassment towards her. Read the whole thing below because… Well, it’s “Manziel-esque,” if it were to be defined in some way.
According to the filing, Manziel sent incessant texts and social media messages to Schacher that included raunchy phrases and naked pictures of himself. One selected anecdote includes the following:
On Christmas Eve, 2013, Johnny Manziel sent me a Instagram photo of himself naked to me Facebook with Manziel putting a hotdog bun between his penis, smiling, calling me “Ho, Ho, Ho”, then called up and told me he wanted a threesome with Dr. Drew.
(Schacher is a co-host with Dr. Drew on HLN’s Dr. Drew On Call)
Manziel told me if I don’t want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he’ll be my Long John Silvers.
Manziel’s lawyer denies the allegations and calls it for what it is: a joke. Schacher has not yet commented on the suit.
Read the docs below or click here for enlarged versions.
Update: Apparently, the whole thing is indeed a fake. A rep for Manziel indicates the claims in the alleged suit are either fake or frivolous, per TIME. The rep forgot one other f-word to describe the allegations: funny. Still, funny as hell.