Kanye Reportedly Paid The Kid He Beat Up $250K To Settle

01.28.14 4 years ago 25 Comments

Remember when Kanye beat up some teenager earlier this month after said hooligan threw some unruly slurs at Kim Kardashian? Well, according to TMZ, that 18-year-old now has $250,000 to pay for soap to wash his mouth out with, thanks to a quick settlement with Yeezus. Yes, that figure is accurate.

Do you know how long it would take me to make $250,000? At my current snail pace, roughly six years. That’s living modestly and working honestly. This “victim” happens to be in the right place at the right damn time, drops a couple N-bombs to earn a justified ass whooping, then winds up with a quarter million dollars only a few weeks later. That makes me sick.

What kind of example does this result set? Aside from allowing Kanye to dignify lewd behavior for a path of least resistance, that kind of ROI is just asking for folks to test celebrities. Then again, all output is fair from the U.S. judicial system, where common sense is nonexistent and repercussions are merely an afterthought.

That being said, I’d happily take an ass whopping from Yeezy to stack up my bank account. No-brainer. I wouldn’t get racial, but I’d damn sure jump at the chance to call him out if he cut in front of me in line at the grocery store.

God, please let Kanye cut in front of me at the grocery store.

Photo: Getty

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