Corey hit me early early this morning, prolly the second email I saw on my phone.
“Do you have something lined up for Pac today?”
Actually, no but with good reason given all the other stuff we’ve been working on for the past few days. Maybe not the most sufficient excuse for some of you, but still…
Then Dirk hit me asking about a piece as well. I downplayed it.
And that’s when I started really realizing…
I, like many others, are still in denial of Pac’s death. In fact, the thought of his death pushes me towards a state where I’m not sure if I’m writing this for you all or for myself.
“I smoke my Newport to the butt
Like it’s the last motherfucker left
Just me and you evading enemies
Let you get my last shot of Hennessy
Ain’t never had a friend like meâ€¦”
It in a peculiar way, Tupac was almost a friend. He was there as I went from teenage years to early 20’s. With the proliferation of work he did, there’s always going to be at least one or two songs of his songs that can relate to whatever your current situation and mentality might be. For me, that’s part of the solace I find in music. When I can’t find the words or feel like I’m going through something others may not understand, there’s always a song to better say what’s on my mind. And at many of those turns, there’s Pac.
But loving & respecting Pac is hard because that requires loving and honoring some of the very things that I hate most the things Black males and Black people as a whole, put on a pedestal that borders on sacrilege.
Violence. A untempered amount of illogic that sometimes has fatal results. The glorified wearing of R.I.P. shirts. Oftentimes using our energies for negativity. The constant struggle to prove manhood. So many things.
So when I think of his death, character traits & behaviors that he possessed that perhaps led to his early death, it’s hard to acknowledge his death.
See, there’s many things I love about my people & my hood. But there’s others I detest. And on a larger level, Tupac Amaru personified both sides of that equation, as only a true Gemini could.
But, good & bad qualities aside, he’s still my friend.
Corey’s got his joint over @ Stray Shots From The Smoking Section.