10 Big Moments From NBA All-Star Weekend

02.21.11 8 years ago 14 Comments

Some people were creaming themselves over this Blake Griffin dunk, where they drove a car on a court and some choir starts singing and I guess angles angels flew out of Ernie Johnson’s ass and there was much rejoicing or something.
Only Charles Barkley can step up and say “That wasn’t the greatest dunk.” And it wasn’t. Griffin barely jumps over the hood of the car. Yay? And if you have to tell people to stand up, then it’s probably not as inspiring as the credit it’s getting would have you believe. This isn’t the Inglewood Baptist Church, jack. I paid $2500 for this seat and I intend to use it.
Sadly, this was probably the best performance by a Griffin all weekend, as last night’s “Family Guy” was especially awful.
Whatever. This is just a talking beaver away from being a pharmaceutical ad. Were there any brighter moments from the NBA’s All Star Weekend? Let’s see if we can find some. Yep, it’s another slideshow.

Beebz looks like he tore a labbia hoisting this shot. It’s still better than anyone from the Sparks.
Via Samer.

Bissinger, famous for his rant against Will Leitch on HBO–and I guess he wrote a couple books–blamed the NBA’s sinking popularity on race. Whitey be hatin’!

[A] major problem with the NBA, one that is virtually never spoken about honestly, is the issue of race. I have no hard-core evidence. But based on my past experience in writing about sports, I know that whites ascribe very different characteristics to black athletes than they do white ones. [M]y guess is they felt very differently about the game when Larry Bird and John Stockton were playing. –BI, via The Daily Beast.

So the NBA struggles because America is racist? Or spoiled because Stockon and Bird and all kinds of other white people were playing pro ball in the 1980s? I guess all of those white people were busy supporting NASCAR.

The Congo isn’t known for much, except for maybe terrible Ernie Hudson movies, but Serge Ibaka puts his country on the map with this jam from the free throw line. Why do they say “on the map?” It already was on the map. Just because we had no idea where it was doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
Anyway, good job Serge. It’s amazing what people can do when you put tennis balls on their feet.
And allegedly made it through the entire weekend without engaging in coitus with any of her son’s teammates. That’s love. If you haven’t seen Gloria’s dress or heard a description of The Alleged Delonte West Thing by former James teammate Wally Szczerbiak, those are worth your time.

It would not be a list on With Leather without bacon. Glad we got that straightened out.

The best dunks usually happen in games, and unless you’re Blake Griffin, they usually happen on the break. Here’s NBA sophomore DeJuan Blair bouncing it off the backboard to himself and throwing it down with one hand.
This is easily the most exciting thing that Tim Duncan has ever seen, second only to the time he was at a local church fundraiser and had B-I-N-G on his game card.

The NBA: Where Unathletic Sometimes Happens. Via Sharebro Loren.
This pasty white gent in the middle here is Christopher Schwarzenegger. Yep, THAT is the son of seven-time Mr. Olympia Arnold Schwarzenegger, taking in an All-Star Game that seems to genuinely frighten him. And the only thing I’ll want to do for the rest of this day is try to fight this kid. Or take a nap on him. He looks so soft.
Sorry if I sound so surprised; this is literally the first time I’ve ever seen the kid. Contrast that with his mother, Maria Shriver, who somehow managed to get away from her usual job–trying to kill He-Man.

In the event you want to see every dunk from Saturday’s dunk competition (don’t say we didn’t warn you), you can watch this solid compilation set to music above.

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