Listen, I’m usually able to keep my fandom of things in check, but I’ve been throwing a ball against the walls of my room like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape and carving notches for every hour that has passed since the season finale of Lucha Underground. There’s not much for me to do except hit YouTube and look up the deep cuts of the temple’s greatest luchadores. I tell myself things like, “I’ve been an Aero Star fan for years, but there must be something I missed, right? I don’t know much about Bengala, maybe I can find some hidden gems.” Anyway, I was on one of these boredom-induced expeditions when I found something odd. Much like Japan’s tendency to put wrestlers on variety shows (looking at you, Jushin Liger), sometimes lucha libre stars show up on Mexican TV programs that have absolutely nothing to do with wrestling. Even with that knowledge, I was nothing short of surprised to see Pentagon, Jr., the world’s favorite Pissed-Off Skeleton Ninja™, making an appearance on Venga la Alegria.
Do NOT look directly in his eyes, that’s how he determines how much miedo you possess! The entire video is here — sorry, but the people at the Azteca Trece network don’t seem to want people embedding clips. However, I refuse to leave this untouched, so I’ll just run through the highlights for you. First, Pentagon incinerates a family of three, which somehow makes turns them into his clones.
This attracts the attention of Los Super Destrampados, the resident superheroes of Venga la Alegria. I’ve retained just enough Spanish from high school to roughly translate the ensuing conversation.
Super Destrampado 1: “Excuse me, good sir! Have you seen an evildoer named Pentagon, Jr.?”
Pentagon: “No, I haven’t seen him.”
From there we get a very Benny Hill-flavored fight scene. I like the resulting implication that Pentagon wears a mask under his mask, but I think Ultima Lucha proved that to be false. In the end, Pentagon is more than a match for these jobbers, getting into a Mortal Kombat fight with one of them and straight-up murdering him via Fatality.
Not content with killing a man in cold blood, Pentagon finishes up with identity theft, stealing the gimmick of his latest sacrifice. Why? Because he is rudo as hell, that’s why. I have to admit, when Vampiro said he and Pentagon were going some place darker, I didn’t see this coming.
