A ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey Kind Of Guy’ Will Trade A Super Bowl Ticket For Your Wife

While everybody’s freaking out about DeflateGate and now especially Marshawn Lynch’s refusal to play nice with the media, we’ve been missing out on one of the most underrated aspects of the Super Bowl – horny people willing to trade tickets for sex. Super Bowl XLIX is only three days away, and with ticket prices for the upper bowl reportedly in the 5-figure range this year, not every Patriots and Seahawks fan can afford to attend the big game. However, if you’re a solo 12th man or hopeful Gronk wingman, and you have a hot wife or girlfriend who would otherwise just nag your ear off during the game, one Arizona man has the deal for you.

All you have to do to secure this Craigslist Casual Encounters poster’s lone ticket to SB XLIX is let him have his way and then some with your babe. Is that too much to ask?

48 hour offer. Very Successful businessmam, looking for one attractive lady, 35-50, fit, to be my PLAYTOY at a very upscale Scottsdale area hotel on Super Bowl Sunday. In exchange, hubby can attend the big game while we play and enjoy great food and drinks in our hotel suite. Everything will be paid for. Private hot tub, private car to take you home at the end of the day. Must enjoy and be open to light domination, bondage, toys, blindfolds, spanking and more. The lady is expected to submit herself to a day of fun. She will be pampered and well taken care of. Safe play, no drugs. Clean, upscale environment. MUST BE D&D free. Pictures are required with your response. I will provide mine in return.

I’m dominant, 50 shades of grey kind of guy, attractive, professional, well mannered and respectful. Behind closed doors, you will be mine to do as I please. Serious and real responses only please.

Once the details are worked out, a private car will be sent to pick up the lady at 11:30 a.m. The driver will deliver the ticket at this time. The wife and I will meet over drinks and lunch followed by obvious playtime. Our date will end a couple hours after the game. Again, this for real, no flakes please. NOTE: The lady may make one special request of something she would like to see happen during the day. I’m open. No pics, no response. Michael

If I were a lady being coaxed into this offer by my sports bro of a husband, my one special request would be the number of a good divorce lawyer.

(Very special tip of the sombrero to Pauly)