A Lot Of People Still Hate Michael Vick

I once thought that a great idea for a magazine would be Haters – “The publication devoted to people who hate sh*t.” It was my billion dollar idea until I learned that things take effort and I hate that sh*t. But lately I’ve realized that my idea would have just been a knock off of the magazine that already has hate down pat – Forbes.

When it’s not busy hating people who don’t have money, Forbes is going out of its way to compile lists of people and things that we all hate. This week, it’s the annual list of the Most Hated Athletes in America. Sure, they call it the Most Disliked Athletes, but read between the capitalist lines, amigos.

So who, pray tell, are the most heinous and villainous prick athletes in all of the land, Forbes?

1) (Tie) Michael Vick and Tiger Woods – 60%

2) Plaxico Burress – 56%

3) Ndamukong Suh – 51%

4) Kris Humphries – 50%

5) LeBron James – 48%

6) (Tie) Kobe Bryant and Terrell Owens – 45%

7) Alex Rodriguez – 44%

8) Kurt Busch – 42%

Suh and Humphries are the newcomers, while James and Rodriguez have slipped a little. Obviously, they need to stop being all good and stuff and go out there and start kicking some puppies, stomping heads and/or dating Kardashians or else they may fall completely out of the Top 10, and even worse – they could be liked.

But let’s focus on Vick, who has tried very hard over the past two seasons to excel on the field so people will stop remembering him as that guy who electrocuted Fido. It might be time to hire a new PR firm, Mike.

Vick, who has led a lot of these lists over the past couple of years, continues to struggle with casual NFL fans who know him mainly for his dog fighting legal mess, even as close followers of the sport love him. Vick’s high awareness number (42%) suggests he’s a known quantity outside the hardcore NFL crowd. “His awareness is up there with Peyton Manning, but a lot of it is people knowing him for the wrong reasons,” says Stephen Master, VP of Sports for Nielsen.

It’s obvious that Forbes and Nielsen need to create the first ever Hate Hall of Fame and retire Vick from these rankings already. It’s not fair to Suh and Humphries, who, while on this list for entirely different reasons, have tried so damn hard to make people loathe their idiocy. It’s time for a new guard, people. I hate this redundant sh*t.