09.19.08 10 years ago 5 Comments

Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia finalized their divorce yesterday, finally freeing the Yankees slugger to freely chase all the muscular tail he wants without having to worry about being discreet. Not that he ever really was. Since the AP report is brief and talks about it being a “personal family matter,” let’s got to the New York Post:

Yankee superstar A-Rod and his long-suffering wife slugged it out quickly and quietly – and now have reached a settlement to end their troubled marriage…

Not bad, but I would have led with, “After hitting home runs all year, Alex Rodriguez will be looking to enter the singles scene…”  THAT’S the kind of cheesy and obvious statement promising future salacious details that readers are looking for.

The breakup had triggered a flurry of embarrassing revelations, including A-Rod’s alleged schoolboy crush on Madonna – he reportedly gushed to a friend that the pop diva was his “f- – -ing soulmate, dude” – and Cynthia’s dash to Paris to cry on rocker pal Lenny Kravitz’s shoulder.

The Bronx Bomber supposedly paid late-night visits to Madonna – and was, according to a family friend, “brainwashed” by her.

Now that’s more like it.  Play the Madonna card.  I’d like to see that make its way into game recaps.  “Rodriguez led the Yankees by hitting two home runs and driving in five, and once told a friend that Madonna was ‘his f—ing soulmate, dude.'”

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