A Volkswagen Bus Has Committed To The University Of Hawaii

Being a fan of a college football team that puts more stock in stupid things like “graduating student athletes” and “focusing on educations”, I rarely pay attention to recruiting classes. Hell, half the time I can’t even count high enough to find my team on ESPN’s annual recruiting rankings. But to a lot of other people, National Signing Day is like Christmas, except instead of presents under a tree, they’re getting 17- and 18-year old boys. It’s as creepy as it is exciting.

However, the one thing I love to look out for is the rare signing of freak athletes, who are either amazingly, incredibly gifted for their age or are well beyond the expectations of size and strength. I believe I have found my favorite athlete of the 2013 college football recruiting extravaganza in new University of Hawaii running back David Fangupo.

While the Kealakehe High School senior’s numbers weren’t very impressive – 75 carries for 534 yards and 6 TD – his physical numbers are what attract the most attention. He’s 6-2 and 350-pounds. A running back! Eat your heart out, adolescent Andy Reid.

Obviously, Fangupo isn’t built like normal running backs, so he’s open to switching positions and helping Hawaii however he can. I’d like to suggest quarterback. Hawaii might not win a game with Fangupo behind center but at least the Warriors would make SportsCenter every week.

And here is the obligatory Nelson Muntz football clip, but with the added bonus of being in Spanish. I’m pretty sure that if my 8 years of Spanish classes had been nothing but Simpsons clips, I’d know more than just “No comprendo” at this point.

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