A Woman Named Peyton Manning Was Arrested For Cocaine Possession

Must… resist… urge… to use… clickbait title.

Local news programs in Tennessee experienced Christmas this morning when it was revealed that police in Nashville busted a young woman with an incredibly familiar name last night. Eighteen-year-old Peyton Manning was arrested along with some guy who wasn’t named after a Tennessee college football legend when cops discovered some cocaine and marijuana in their car during a routine traffic stop. Specifically, the couple had two small bags of cocaine hidden inside a fountain drink cup in the drink holder, and they might have gotten away with that if it hadn’t been for the marijuana, scale and pill crusher that the officers discovered when Manning and Kenneth Sowards agreed to the search.

Additionally, a search of their phones revealed messages about using and selling drugs, so it’s safe to say that this Peyton Manning will be spending Super Bowl XLIX shouting, “OMAHA!” in the Tennessee Prison for Women. However, if her name had been Eli Manning, she might have received a reduced sentence for throwing her cocaine directly into an officer’s hands.