Christina Aguilera Rubs Aaron Rodgers the Wrong Way

If the Rapture happens tomorrow, humanity will mark its lowest point as Christina Aguilera’s performance of the national anthem at Super Bowl XLV. People like to talk about how she messed up the words, but usually fail to mention that both of her ear drums fell out and caused her to forget what music sounds like. The greatest victims were the players who had to stand there and be reverent while she growled and shouted her way to a nationally-divisive conclusion.

During an appearance on 540 ESPN Milwaukee with the D-List, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers shared his story of survivial.

During the pregame of Super Bowl XLV did you notice that Christina Aguilera messed up the U.S. National Anthem?

No doubt about it. No doubt about it. First of all the chick from ‘Glee’ killed the first song. She should have sang the anthem too. I knew because it was the Super Bowl … I don’t like standing in the front row because I don’t like being or having that camera right in front of my face. I know I’m on the bazillion foot jumbotron, so I’m going to stand behind some people who maybe aren’t the most TV recognizable names and see if I can blend in. So I kind of went and hid in the back. I don’t know who I was standing next to, but she [Christina Aguilera] starts singing it and in most of the stadiums they have the words up on the board, kind of up-and-above the singer, so she can tell that she screwed up.

She screwed up and I knew it and something was off. I’m looking around going does anyone else realize this? I don’t think they had because I don’t think the people were listening, but I knew something was off, so I kind of tapped … I think it was Diyral Briggs next to me and I said, ‘Hey did you hear that?’ He was like, ‘What?’ I’m like, ‘She just totally screwed it up’, so I look up at the board and see where she is at and I realized she just totally messed that up. I wonder … people have got to know she just screwed that up? I feel kind of bad for her, but at the same time, come on now.

And I was like, Aaron Rodgers just outed himself as a Gleek. I wonder if he turned to Diyral Briggs and asked him what he thought of that snippet of Puck and Artie’s version of “Bella Notte.” Wait, I don’t wonder that at all, sh**

[H/T Weed for Speed]