Adam Dunn Gets Violent About Internet Scrabble

So, it turns out Chicago White Sox slugger Adam Dunn is one of those people who starts a random game with me in Words With Friends and resigns with 77 letters left when I spell “taciturn.”

Via CSN/Chicago:

It was Adam Dunn, who recently returned to the game after being disillusioned playing a former teammate who was clearly cheating (how could Dunn tell? “Because this guy is, no other way to put it, dumb”)…

“I was up at 3 a.m., racking my brain trying to figure out a play, and I hit a huge word, 72 points,” Dunn said. “He came right back with ‘Pleiades.’ What the hell is ‘Pleiades?’ Someone plays ‘Pleiades’ on me, I’ll punch him in the throat.”

I learned it from Final Fantasy, you jerk! And Pleiades is a star cluster. You can’t punch somebody in the throat for knowing a word used in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. I play a lot of Words With Friends (user name Destinys2ndkid, if you want to play) and I’ve come to terms with a few things about it.

1. If you’re cheating, you shouldn’t even be playing. This isn’t NBA Jam, where you put in a cheat code and get to be Bill Clinton. Playing with your brain is the only reason to even be playing this, and anything else is like copying homework you aren’t turning in.

2. Sometimes those stupid words aren’t cheating. For example, I know what “Pleiades” is. I’m an average blogger on the Internet. I also paid attention in school. Not all of us make money showing people what Toby Keith would look like if he struck out 700 times a season.

You can learn a lot of words you don’t know (or words that aren’t words, but count in the game) by playing a lot. For example, I use “za” and “xi” all the time, but other than “an a-bro-viation for pizza” and “a Chinese person’s name” I don’t know what they mean. I just saw someone use the word “noily,” and cheating or not, I now know “noily” is a word and can use it. See how that works? Don’t punch me in the throat.

3. I wonder if Dunn gets upset waiting days for Ozzie Guillen properly spell “remember.”

[h/t Productive Outs]