Me And Adrian Peterson Are Basically The Same Guy

Pro Wrestling Editor
07.31.12 6 Comments

And now, a post on a semi-reputable sports comedy blog about how I once at lobster at a seafood restaurant shaped like a barn and threw up everywhere.

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was rushed to the hospital on Monday. That’s a scary sentence, especially for a guy currently on the physically unable to perform list already, trying hard to recover from surgery. He was experiencing shortness of breath and a swelling of the face (!) at the Vikings’ dormitory at Minnesota State University and had to be golf-carted to a medical facility. The terrifying cause? He’d eaten some bad seafood during lunch.


“He’s doing fine,” Frazier said Monday, July 30. “He’ll pick back up with his rehab (Tuesday). He’s been cleared. Everything’s back to normal now. Bit of a scare but he’s fine now.”

The team was unaware of any specific food allergies Peterson had, Frazier said.

“He had mentioned there was a time early in his life where he had an allergic reaction to something, maybe not quite as severe as this,” the coach said. (via

One of the reasons I stopped eating meat in its entirety is because my body went YEAH RIGHT after I ate it and exploded from the inside. My last two experiences with shellfish were (1) the aforementioned barn thing when I was seven, which was the most embarrassing moment of my life until (2) a New Years Eve dinner 15 years later when I decided maybe I was just sick that day and not allergic to seafood at all. That ended with me lying on the ground waiting for someone to take me to the hospital while my head transmogrified into Rocky Dennis from The Mask. Hopefully, Adrian’s experience wasn’t as damningly miserable as those. We wish you a speedy recovery, friend!

In other injury news, wide receiver Percy Harvin jammed a finger trying to open a crab leg and will miss the entire season.

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