Al Bundy: Shoe Salesman, Jiu-Jitsu Master

Why is it, that if a man kills another man in battle it’s called heroic; yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it’s called murder?

“Modern Family” star Ed O’Neill would be able to answer that question. According to Black Belt magazine, O’Neill, most famous for scoring four touchdowns in a single high school football game, is also (apparently) a 15-year Gracie veteran with a black belt in jiu-jitsu. It’s sort of like finding out Alf could kill you with a palm strike. O’Neill got hooked on jiu-jitsu after visit the Rorion Gracie’s gym in Torrance, California, and failing the “robber test”. The test: a robber breaks into your home and pins you down. You’ve got to find a way to get up off the ground. Can you do it?

Taking the bait, he asked Gracie how he’d managed to maintain complete control (while on top of O’Neil). Once the principle was explained the simplicity of the art floored O’Neil. He set up an appointment to begin training and has been rolling ever since.

This is in direct contract to Ashton Kutcher, who recently put up pictures of himself wearing a borrowed black belt during a trip to Rio de Janeiro. The shorter version of the story: Ashton Kutcher is going to get murdered by a home invader, and Al Bundy is going to kick that guy’s ass. Let’s rock.

To celebrate the spread of this celebrity fun fact, here’s a montage of Al beating the crap out of people.

[h/t to Cagewriter by way of Fightlinker]
(man, my site needs a tougher name)