02.16.08 10 years ago 3 Comments

You would think a story about bear spray and a bar would end happily:

KODIAK, Alaska – A man faces assault charges after allegedly spraying bar patrons twice with bear spray. Kodiak police charged Daniel Pement after the incidents Saturday and Sunday at the B&B Bar. Police said Pement was escorted from the bar on Saturday, but returned 15 minutes later and allegedly sprayed customers. Police talked to him later and took the bear spray, but were called away on a more urgent matter.

The more urgent matter was a fresh batch at The Donut Hole. Ha, ha, cops like donuts. Anyway, to be fair to Mr. Pement, some of the patrons at the B&B Bar probably looked like bears. Especially after a few cocktails. If he really wanted to make a statement, he should have sprayed the other drinkers with bear urine. Then, as he sipped his morning beer the next day, he could grin while reading about the rash of bear-on-man rapes. It can be a nice experience however, I met my she-bear ex-wife in this manner. -KD 

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