Alex Mack Does Not Want His Dong Grabbed

09.21.10 8 years ago 5 Comments

When it comes to powerhouse sports rivalries, us East Coast media elitists tend to concentrate on the big names, meaning that timeless rivalries like the Cleveland Browns and the Kansas City Chiefs go largely unnoticed and unloved. That is, unless their games involve groin-grabbing accusations and near-brawls on the sidelines. So as long as the Browns and Chiefs keep this behavior up, there will be plenty of room in the spotlight for all zero of their stars.

Anywho, Browns center Alex Mack is accusing Chiefs defensive lineman and former Brown Shaun Smith of yanking his crank while the two were matching up on Sunday. Mack claims that mutual trash-talking led to Smith giving him an unprovoked hernia test during a play, and his anger from having his horn swaggled led him to commit a personal foul call a few plays later, at which point the Chiefs went up 3-0, and eventually won 16-14, thus destroying hundreds of thousands of suicide pick leagues across the U.S.

You gotta be gentle with it, Cleveland Plain Dealer, you’re biting it:

“I don’t think he should be able to do that,” said Mack of Smith. “I’m still fired up about it.”

The incident took place after a one-yard run by Josh Cribbs with 1:21 left in the second quarter. After that play, a number of Chiefs players ended up on the Browns’ sideline and punches were thrown.

Smith, of course, denies doing anything dirty and cites his clean track record as the reason that we should believe him. When reached for comment, Brady Quinn’s eye socket said, “Yeah, dude’s totally cool.”

In related news, the Chiefs are 2-0, thus marking the first time in four years that the names Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis have been mentioned in the same sentence as “job security.”

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