As a resident of Austin, TX, I don’t like to throw shade at hipsters. I think hipsters are great. Without hipsters we wouldn’t have so many niche coffee shops, high-end thrift stores, festivals with taco cannons or vegan food trucks. I think “hipster” gets thrown around too liberally, and is a catch-all for squares. Don’t like how somebody looks? Are they different from you? HIPSTER. GET HIM.
That said, I have prepared a dark world of shade to throw at CAT BIKE GUY, the Philadelphia resident with a GoPro camera and a desire to be a living, breathing ‘Portlandia’ joke. Here’s the quick checklist:
1. Ironic mustache
2. Pabst Blue Ribbon sticker on his helmet (no, seriously)
3. rides his bike everywhere
4. makes his housecat sit on his shoulders while he rides his bike everywhere so he can be the Cat Bike Guy
5. quirky soundtrack accompanying him at all times
All he needs is a really tall bike and some clunky glasses without lenses and he’s hipstered as hard as he can. That poor cat. When Cat Bike Guy stops, the cat should just leap for it and bail.