April Fools Day Was Really, Really Lame

If you’re over the age of zero, you probably realize that April Fools Day is a stupid idea that is somehow a million times worse in execution. For every halfway-funny prank that an Internet company or entity thinks up (and for the record, AdBlocker had the only good joke during April Fools Day this year, when they changed all Internet ads to pictures of cats), there’s an infinite number of idiots running around going NYAH HAH HEE HEE GET IT when their “prank” consists of, I don’t know, telling you they messed up your lunch order while openly snickering and then telling you NAH JUST MESSIN at the end of the same sentence.

However bad most usual-bad April Fools “jokes” are, they’re way, way, way worse when someone related to sports tries to do them., with a hat tip to HardballTalk, reports on how Lance Berkman’s just the knee-slappinest, baby-prankinest jokester yokel what ever thought up a yuk-yuk.

Lance Berkman and several Cardinals teammates helped pull off a terrific April Fools’ joke on Adam Wainwright during Sunday’s game.

The pranksters had the public address announcer give away a car to a fan, who, playing along with the gag, ran onto the field to collect his gift. Berkman drove the vehicle — Wainwright’s white Chevy Silverado — onto the field and past an unsuspecting Wainwright, who did a double-take at the license plate while sitting in the dugout.

The winning fan, who was David Freese’s cousin, jumped into the back of the truck and Berkman drove out of the stadium.

Ugh. Just … no. That “prank” is so old, it’s got whiskers on it. I’m guessing that even the writer of this is playing up Wainwright “doing a double-take.” He probably rolled his eyes to himself and feigned a, “Oh, yeah guys. You sure got me. Hah,” while they all doubled over in laughter and handed him his keys back. Let’s retire April Fools Day, or at least make it illegal for athletes to “participate.” It would be for the best.