It’s a shame that Arian Foster‘s NFL career had to end so abruptly. At his best, he was an All-Pro running back, a super-talented mix of speed and power. But Foster was injured so frequently that he had to hang his cleats up during the middle of the 2016 NFL season.
Foster is around, partly because he has a wonderful Twitter account. He has always been one of the league’s most interesting people, as he is really smart, legitimately funny, and always willing to speak his mind. For example, Foster mentioned that he has a fear of animals that will keep him from going camping, even though he wants to go camping.
wanna go camping but "wildlife" scares the shit outta me.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
However, Foster clarified one thing: he believes he would be able to take down a wolf.
i honestly think i can get a wolf 1 on 1 tho.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
From there, it was on. Wolves are animals that most people don’t ever want to mess with, but Foster thinks his size, upbringing, thumbs, awareness of the situation, and preparation will give him the advantage over the animal.
i'm 230, wolfs are what, 180-200 tops? he has no thumbs. if i control his neck he's dunzo. https://t.co/j9vf2knwqI
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
wolves don't scare me like that cuz in my neighborhood was a bunch of loose enraged pits. if he alone i think i can get him.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
how he gon bite w half a jaw? https://t.co/i5prSDynUd
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
none of them have thumbs. https://t.co/zoyE5MhGWH
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
thumbs means i can grab him .he can't grab me. all he has is a mouth. grab his neck he can't bite. https://t.co/5s61cihKVb
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
plus i have the advantage of honking about this wolf. like i'm prepared.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
if we run into each other in my head "oh yea it's on, wolf". he's jus like "what is this aggressive species threatening me."
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
i've studied the wolf. he can't read. i know his weaknesses. plus the thumb thing.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
if he bites me his main weapon is immobilized. then becomes vulnerable. this is why thumbs are so important.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
THUMB*. i still have a whole other arm (my right one cuz i use non dominant one to shield). i'm just smarter than the wolf. advg: me. https://t.co/5eqoF1uVf1
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
Foster also made a good point when he pointed out that a wolf cannot strategically fight him. Then again, a wolf that understands the anatomy of a human being would be terrifying, so if there’s one out there, Foster better hope they don’t meet up.
bro you think a wolf knows where my artery is? all the sudden i'm fighting a wolf that knows biology? https://t.co/0rKRorDSaw
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
show me how the wolf in time of conflict analyzes exactly what part of the body is the weakest, determines how its the weakest, then attacks
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
While he likes his chances against a wolf, Foster is a man of reason and knows that he’d get his stuff wrecked by another animal.
that's a tiger. i have no chance. https://t.co/9zEKI3BzRu
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
Ideally, we never get definitive proof about what would happen if Foster fought a wolf, mostly because there’s a good chance that would end horribly. But hey, Foster seems like he’d be up for the challenge.
