The Arizona Diamondbacks Want To Kill You Where You Sit With A $25 Corndog

Going to an Arizona Diamondbacks game this season? Tired of having a functional heart and digestive system? The D-Backs have you covered!

Mee the D-Bat Dog, an 18-inch corn dog stuffed with bacon, jalapeños and cheddar cheese, served in a cardboard trough of french fries for a cool $25. That’s right, folks, for a quarter of a hundred dollars you can eat what happens when a Chase Field employee throws three hot dogs into the deep frier with an order of nachos and forms it into a penile log.


“This is really about providing our fans with new options each year, and in the case of some of our larger items, it’s really about sharing with the family,” team president and CEO Derrick Hall said.

“Do not eat this by yourself,” he continued. “For the love of God.”

We don’t have any expectations for the D-Bat, but we’ll look forward to seeing if it becomes popular with our fans. Every night for us is a successful night because we offer the most affordable food prices in all of baseball.”

“Please do not look directly at the baseball game.”

The best part of the D-Bat Dog’s existence is how ESPN not only reports about it, they have to include a paragraph at the bottom detailing Major League Baseball’s descent into expensive hot dog madness every time a new one exists:

The $25 hot dog barrier was first crossed in 2012, when the Texas Rangers unveiled the 2-foot Boomstick. The hot dog smothered in chili, nacho cheese, jalapenos and onions retails for $26. Despite backlash from some fans, the Rangers reportedly sold nearly 20,000 of them in the first season.

The race is on to see who breaks the $50 hot dog barrier. A thirty foot Sonaran dog but the bacon is veal chops, and the pico is shredded $5 bills. LET’S DO IT, AMERICA!