The Next Big Thing: Armenian Child MMA

Pro Wrestling Editor
07.17.12 9 Comments

Arrested Development Boyfights

By way of Armenia’s ‘ArmFC’ comes a clip Cage Potato calls “the classiest child abuse video of them all”, and just like CP I can’t decide if I think it’s adorable or that everyone involved should be thrown in prison, and that the prison should be set on fire.

In the video (presented after the jump, so you don’t have to watch it if the sentence “6-year old and 7-year old have a sanctioned MMA fight in an Armenian bar for the enjoyment of old men” skeevs you out too much) a 6-year old and a 7-year old have a sanctioned MMA fight in an Armenian bar for the enjoyment of old men. It can really go either way … the scaled down cage is great, the pre-fight weigh-ins are predictably cute and those FLAME GRAPHIX look pretty tight. Kids fight, and we’ve all probably been in fights way worse than this. They’re just wrestling, really, and if they punch each other how hard can it hurt? They’re seven. On the other side, that sentence in italics. If you can watch a 6-year old pretend to dig a grave and bury a child in it before punching his corpse and not feel a little weird about it … yeah, I don’t know.

Anyway, here you go. Stick around long enough to see the Baby Buster short.

Okay, so the most concerning part to me is how the kids aren’t necessarily doing things as they are emulating things they’ve seen done. The post fight taunt, climbing the cage after the victory, even the pushing in the weigh-ins … in actual MMA (as performed by sentient adults), you can imagine a guy getting pumped up and celebrating, and marketing and image construction or whatever aside you can buy it as sincere. Watching a kid do it? Especially in a bar full of fat guys smoking cigars and cheering them on? If this ends with them all being blindfolded and escorted to somebody’s van I wouldn’t be surprised, especially in a video called “death 6 years fighter”.

Let us know what you think of child MMA in the comments section, and feel free to use the caps lock liberally.

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