Arsenal Wishes You A Forced, Awkward Holiday Season

What you need to know:

season’s greetings from the Gunners : Wojciech Szczesny, Theo Walcott, Bacary Sagna, Per Mertesacker, Abou Diaby, Emmanuel Frimpong, Sebastien Squillaci, Vito Mannone, Lukasz Fabianski, Ryo Miyaichi and Andre Santos

What I don’t really know a lot about:


… so I can’t nitpick the Arsenal Christmas video too much, but I barely believe anything they’re saying. Watching a stone faced guy say “merry christmas” before removing a Santa hat that says “Merry Christmas” across the front is all well and good, as is making grown men who don’t speak a hell of a lot of English wear Rudolph noses and antlers and speak English, but I can’t shake the feeling that as soon as the cameras stopped rolling they tossed off their Christmas sweaters and started plotting its downfall. Maybe movies have taught me to be too judgmental of athletic Europeans.

Writing your own Arsenal Christmas wishes is pretty fun, though, you have to take a really simple sentences or phrases like “Merry Christmas” and say them in the most roundabout way possible. “I believe, that if possible, I will have, a merry Christmas.”

Also, pretty sure Abou Diaby is where Garfield keeps trying to ship Nermal.

[via Outside The Boxscore]