Ashton Kutcher Has Ruined Iowa Hoops

Senior Writer
11.01.10 9 Comments

School officials at the University of Iowa have filed a report with the NCAA admitting recent wrongdoing in regards to men’s basketball recruiting. Last month, high school recruits were visiting during a football game, and they were introduced to former Iowa basketball greats, Reggie Evans and Dean Oliver. And while that may sound like small potatoes, it only gets worse. Turns out the recruits were led to a private suite at Kinnick Stadium, and awaiting them were the most despicable, deplorable recruiting degenerates in college football history – Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

Fresh off their marriage-on-the-rocks-saved-by-love-for-freaky-deaky-sex-scandal, Ashton and his grandma wife were more than willing to meet with Hawkeyes basketball recruits Josh Oglesby and Marcus Paige at the September 11 game between Iowa and Iowa State. Kutcher attended Iowa with the dreams of becoming a chemical engineer to develop a cure for his brother’s rare heart disease, but he eventually left to pursue a career in professional Tweeting instead.

Turn that trucker hat sideways and punk Wilmer Valderrama, Des Moines Register:

Oglesby announced his verbal commitment to the Iowa program in late September after his official visit to the Iowa City campus.

Paige, who also is being recruited by Clemson, Illinois, Iowa State, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, North Carolina and Virginia, has made no verbal commitments. In Division I, basketball players can commit to schools by signing official letters of intent starting Nov. 10.

The parents of Oglesby and Paige both declined to comment. Attempts to reach Kutcher for comment were unsuccessful.

That’s because the Register failed to address the communiqué with @aplusk. I mean, come on, are there no teenage girls with a terrible grasp of the English language working at the Register?

Iowa officials don’t believe the NCAA will rule that this voluntary investigation and report will affect the school’s ability to sign these recruits, which is good news for DeVry University booster Dax Shepard.

On a related side note, Kutcher also apparently released a movie in 2009 entitled Personal Effects about a University of Iowa wrestler who teaches a boy coping with the murder of his father how to channel his anger into wrestling. Kutcher and Moore premiered the movie in Iowa City last year to help raise funds for flood relief. Good thing, I’m sure they needed that $5.

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