Be Nice To Golf Bags: Pants Petition Says ‘Let Golfers Play In Shorts’

Pro Wrestling Editor
05.15.13 4 Comments

You know what f**king sucks? Wearing pants. Especially when you’re trying to golf.

If Johnson Wagner wants to wag his Johnson while he’s playing, who am I to stand in his way? That’s what the fine men and I’m assuming additional men over at Ashworth golf apparel think, and they’ve issued a “Pants Petition” asking the PGA to allow golfers the right to wear shorts. An actual petition. Golf pros Retief Goosen, Justin Rose, Sean O’Hair and Justin Leonard have thrown in to help the petition make a difference, because the only thing preventing a normal man from golf greatness is lower-leg coverage.

Sure, I can hear some of you now. “If we let golfers golf in shorts, what’s next? Golfing in their underwear? WHAT’S STOPPING SOMEONE FROM TRYING TO PLAY ON THE PGA TOUR WITH THEIR DOG??” You’re on the wrong side of history, folks. In 40 years when only the most regressive squares wear slacks on the links, you’re gonna look back and think “man, I should’ve signed that Internet petition.” I promise you will think that.

[h/t to Sportress]

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