Aspiring Pro Wrestler Claims That She’s Always Been Too Beautiful

“People will stare at me no matter what, and it’s the most irritating thing in the world.”

Dana Adiva is a 21-year old aspiring professional wrestler recently featured on MTV’s True Life, and I’m told by the kids I pay to stop stealing my shoes at the public pool that it’s usually a show about really strange and/or awful people. However, the episode had nothing to do with the interesting story of a young lady voluntarily taking grueling physical punishment while putting her own health and future in jeopardy for the sake of fulfilling her dream and establishing a career in sports entertainment. Instead, it was about how she thinks that she’s so beautiful that the world revolves around her.

In the episode that aired on June 1, pro wrestler Dana described the struggles that she has faced since high school, when all the boys loved her and she didn’t have any girlfriends, because all of the other girls were jealous of how beautiful (she claims) she is. She even had to drop out of school because she was receiving hate mail from her classmates.

Meanwhile, her biggest struggle seems to be with her own sister, who tries desperately to explain to Dana that she isn’t a princess and the world doesn’t revolve around her.

I don’t want to be mean, because the world is a mean enough place without snarky bloggers who sometimes manage to get through a sentence without a grammar mistake. So I’m going to put this as nicely as I possibly can – If you dropped Dana in the middle of a Las Vegas pool party, I would forget she existed in .000006 seconds. She would blend in like camouflage laced with MDMA. Hell, if you stood her next to every WWE Diva in the company’s history, she wouldn’t crack my Top 10 based on looks alone.

Seriously, in mostly no specific order, it would look like this:

Torrie Wilson

Stacy Keibler

Trish Stratus




Kelly Kelly

Michelle McCool


And maybe even Moolah, because sometimes I just like an older babe. But those were just the names off the top of my head. Imagine if I could sit down and look at a list and examine photos to make a scientific decision. By that point, Dana might not even crack my Top 11.

(By the way, can we talk about the other girl from that video for a second? If reality came in pill form, I’d try to make that girl overdose. Am I right, girlfriends?)