In The Name Of Everything Holy, What Uniform Hell Hath We Wrought?

09.20.12 5 years ago 6 Comments

Between Nike’s Employee of the Year Lebron James fawning over Oregon’s admittedly awesome uniforms and me declaring that the Seattle Seahawks uniforms don’t look that bad (our opinions are equal, naturally), it was really only a matter of time before a team somewhere at some level tried to emulate this new era of uni-swag and fail miserably. I’m a few days late on this, but ladies and gentlemen, I submit for your failure approval, the uniforms of the Atlantic High School Eagles.

To be fair to the kids, they don’t think these neon explosions are all that bad. According to the Palm Beach Post, the group that paid for and donated the uniforms are just trying to create buzz.

“We definitely don’t expect these to be loved by everybody,” said Lee Cohen, a Delray attorney and Delray Beach 21′s chairman. “That’s what they should do. Spark conversation. We want to bring these kids the attention they deserve. We want to draw attention and bring excitement to the program. We want to get people talking.”

And to take it one step further, I’ll add the thoughts of Internet newspaper commenter “Class of 79” who clearly studied debate at the nation’s top institutions:

“It something new don’t look at the uniform. Look at the coach that wat yours should be talking about is founding new coach atl coach suck”

That’s a hell of an argument right there. Does the team need to focus on “founding new coach” or is it okay for the players to have some fun? After the jump, I’ve included a photo of one of the players in the actual uniform at gametime, so you can determine for yourself if these outfits are as butt ugly as a nuclear diarrhea hurricane or if they’re harmless generators of buzz.

(Photo via this girl on Twitter who is waiting for ESPN to call. Call her ESPN, she’s waiting.)

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