01.25.08 10 years ago 29 Comments

Fallen champion Barbaro will be remembered with a statue to be displayed in Central Park this April, but it won't be of the mighty steed winning races and screwing fillies, the latter of which would have been totally sweet.

"The Barbaro Memorial for the Right to Die" by controversial sculptor Daniel Edwards is a tribute to the late Triple Crown contender and is dedicated to the institution of euthanasia… "The Barbaro Memorial" will depict the thoroughbred champion in the winner's circle on his back with his number 8 saddle cloth draping his belly and hooves in the air, representing his inability to stand on his feet due to the debilitating laminitis which followed the shattered ankle he suffered in the 2006 Preakness Stakes…

"We believe a memorial dedicated to the Right to Die will encourage horse owners to forego their own self-interests and act mercifully on behalf of their suffering horse," said gallery co-director, John Leo. "If Barbaro has taught us anything, it is that horses deserve our compassion first." 

If Barbaro taught me anything, it's that people are goddam freaks who like horses way too much.  "Oooh, look at this beautiful animal.  It weighs a ton and has sharp hooves and bites and freaks out at any sudden movements.  Hey, I know: let's try to ride it!"  Fuckin weirdos.

By the way, Edwards is the same guy who did the statues of Britney Spears giving birth on a bear rug and Paris Hilton dead and naked on a coroner's table.  Up next for him: a statue of me pissing on the dead bodies of the cast of Entourage.  That would fucking rule.

[Lion in Oil] … and oh yeah, NICE SHOES ASSHOLE

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