Well hello there, friends. It’s Friday, which means we get to spend some time together via the magic of the modern day internet! Hey, you know who’s really great at using the internet? Spiders. You know. Because they all have websites.
-If that didn’t drive you away, be sure to follow me on Twitter here. Also, for real jokes, be sure to follow With Leather here, and UPROXX here. Note: none of us are actual spiders. …I think.
-Share this report with everyone you know, arachnid or otherwise. Tweet it, like it on Facebook, email your mom pictures of Ethan Carter III’s midsection. You’ll be super cool for doing it, and as a bonus, you’ll get to have that super awkward moment of your mom being uncomfortably into EC3’s abs.
This week on Impact: Dewey Barnes! Norv Fernum! EC3 vs. Friendship! Swoon.
Worst: After the first 18 minutes, I could only think to type one thing
And that one thing was “whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.” No. Really. That’s all I had in my Word document for the entire opening segment and the first contest of the night. Usually a third of my report is dedicated to the first ten or twenty minutes of the show, because good or bad, there’s something to grab onto. This week? *deep breath* Okay. This week. We’re doing this. There’s no turning back. Turning Point is next week anyways. *deep breath*