06.25.09 9 years ago 7 Comments

I want to thank Chris for this email that he sent in yesterday, and I hope he doesn’t mind that I’m sharing it here with you now:

Would you write an article exposing Landon Donovan for the complete fraud, gaping vagine, p.o.s., pretty boy prima donna, media fluffer, gaping vagine that he is? I can’t believe this pile gets as much media attention as he does. He sucks. He doesn’t do anything. I’ve had players like him on my team before, they dribble around in open space but can’t take an elbow, or give one out. They always want to take the free kick b/c the box gets nasty. He wants to take the free kick and he has a sh!tleg!!! Half of his assists are accidents too. In fact I doubt he would have made my high school team. Well, maybe his senior year.

This girl isn’t good enough to start on a bad german club team (and rightly so) so he comes and plays in the U.S. Start a trend, nickname him “The American Cacka” or something. You’re funny, come up with something.

The worst part about that axe-wound is that he runs around during warm ups with a tough look on his face. Yes, I have seen his girlfriend, it doesn’t change anything. Btw, do you have any photos of his girlfriend that don’t have him in it?

My knee-jerk reaction to America’s 2-0 win over Spain yesterday was, “Hey, Landon Donovan seemed like he was everywhere.” Of course, I forgot about the one place Landon wasn’t yesterday–in net, where Tim Howard did everything except stack garbage cans in front of the net to keep Spain at bay. But even hotter than seats on the MNT bandwagon is Landon’s wife of 2-1/2 years, Bianca Kajlich. She’s on that one show with David Spade which isn’t really funny unless you’re married, and even then it’s only kinda funny. In other news, David Spade is still working. And not in porn. Good job, him.

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