Big Ben Feels Tebows Pain, Breasts

Pro Wrestling Editor
01.06.12 5 Comments

Pro sports’ best citizen and America’s most desirable neighbor Tim Tebow has it rough; he provides no reasonable middle ground, and the only two ways to take him are as God’s Precious Little Comeback Angel or the least talented human being in modern history. You’d think it’d be easy to understand a guy who wrote an autobiography in his early twenties, but here we are alternately applauding his performances and staring aghast at his self-indulgent comic book.

Thankfully, the NFL’s second most stand-up guy is here with solid advice on remaining moderate in extreme times. He’s also here if Tebow wants to know how to have sex on dates.

But even Big Ben seemed astounded by the constant attention — both good and bad — paid to Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow.

“It’s got to be tough. Every time you turn it on, you see something about Tebow. I can only imagine what it’s like for his teammates. Just watching today, it’s the Steelers versus Tim Tebow. No, it’s the Steelers versus the Broncos, so I can only imagine what it’s like for him with all the eyes and the attention on him and the pressure. It can’t be fun. I feel for him a little bit.”

“I don’t think Tim’s really calling ESPN and asking them to talk about him,” Roethlisberger said. “I would assume his teammates understand it. It’s a tough thing. It’s the position we play.”

Yes, Ben Roethlisberger knows a thing or two about pressure. could’ve kept things in a reasonable perspective by saying “Roethlisberger is a way better quarterback than Tebow so he knows what he’s talking about”, but no, they had to go full facepalm:

As the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback who has played in three Super Bowls and has also been involved in his share of embarrassing off-field incidents,

has also been involved in his share of embarrassing off-field incidents

embarrassing off-field incidents

I want to get indignant about co-ed sexual abuse being labeled “embarrassing”, but I sat here typing the word “really?” and deleting it once a second for five minutes and I’m pretty sure that’s as far as my brain’s gonna let me go. I’m not totally sure Ben understands how their situations are different. Tebow’s response should be “I appreciate the support, bro, but no”.

[h/t to Mr. Article Writer at Shutdown Corner]

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