01.03.08 10 years ago 25 Comments

Dolphins coach Cam Cameron is now ex-coach Cam Cameron, as new football dictator V.I. Parcellskiy continued his slow round of post-season executions.

The dismissal comes three days after Parcells ousted general manager Randy Mueller and means the reeling franchise will have its fifth coach in five seasons.

Parcells began work Thursday as executive vice president of football operations and quickly concluded the Dolphins need another fresh start. It has been 37 years since the Dolphins fired a coach. But they never finished 1-15 before.

Let this be a lesson to all you retards who are having children: don't give your kid a stutter-name. Willie Williams, Pat Patrick, Andy Andrews, Matt Matthews: you're dooming them to failure.  People with stutter-names can never be trusted, because they're the kind of people who become local newscasters.

Up next for the Dolphins: Parcells's five-year plan, and an arms race.  He wants to see if Cleo Lemon is really faster than John Beck.  You folks have been great.  Tip your waitress.

Around The Web