09.24.08 9 years ago 13 Comments

Lame-assed Oscar host and former New York Yankee pinch-hitter Billy Crystal (remember him?) hasn’t annoyed moviegoers in years, so there wasn’t a better time to join the cast of a movie starring another wannabe athlete: The Rock Dwayne Johnson. From Variety (via Ben Maller):

Taking on his first role in a live-action studio picture since 2002’s “Analyze That,” Billy Crystal will join the cast of “Tooth Fairy,” the Fox comedy that begins shooting Monday in Vancouver[…]

Dwayne Johnson stars with Ashley Judd, Julie Andrews, Stephen Merchant (“The Office”) and Ryan Sheckler. Johnson plays a minor league hockey player known for loosening dental work with physical play and is sentenced to serve as the real Tooth Fairy for a week.

Lemme guess, no explosions, no gunfire, and Ashley doesn’t get naked.

The Rock and Will Ferrell seem to be in this unofficial race to see whose athlete portrayal on film can suck the biggest dong. And while I’m sure this movie will live up to being the big bucket of ass we all expect it to be, nothing makes me want to wash out my eyes with a bucket of piss more than a shirtless Will Ferrell. Jesus Christ, man, do some cardio or something.

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