Bradley on the Hot Seat, Landon’s Baby Momma Drama, And We’ll Always Call it Soccer: Another WORLD CUPDATE

06.28.10 8 years ago 9 Comments

Just when you thought American soccer was about to turn a corner and make a run for the World Cup, they fell 2-1 to Ghana. Allowing early goals was the team’s biggest problem throughout the tournament, and those troubles continued against the Ghanaians. Kevin Prince-Boateng scored in the fifth minute, forcing the USMNT to play from behind for a majority of the game. But the US once again proved they could rise to the challenge when Landon Donovan scored his third goal of the tournament on a penalty kick in the 62nd minute. That goal would force extra time, but the Ghanaians would once again take advantage of an early goal, when Asamoah Gyan scored in the 93rd minute. It proved to be the final nail in the coffin for the American squad. Who’s excited for the MLS season? That’s right, no one.

“A stinging, tough defeat,” said Bob Bradley, who faces an uncertain future as U.S. coach. –ESPN

Stinging, indeed. Had the Americans won, they would have faced a beatable Uruguay team in the quarterfinals. A win there would have put them in the tournament’s final four. The door was open for the USMNT to spike interest in a country that notoriously couldn’t care less. Sunil Gulati, president of the U.S. Soccer Federation wasn’t pleased with the performance, and heads may roll. Specifically, the head of coach Bob Bradley.

“It was a missed opportunity to stay in the American public’s eye for another five or six or even 10 days,” Mr. Gulati said.

Mr. Gulati said Mr. Bradley will be evaluated on his performance the past four years, not simply on the team’s performance during the 360-plus minutes it played in South Africa.

“He’s done a very good job, and we’ve made that clear,” Mr. Gulati said. “When we’ve had our A team, his record is pretty darn good. The problem is our expectations have risen very sharply.”

Under Mr. Bradley the U.S. finished first in qualifying in its region, it came in second in the Confederations Cup in 2009, and this month will finish between 11th and 13th at the World Cup, compared with near the bottom of the field in 2006.–WSJ

If he’s allowed to stay on as coach, Bradley’s biggest problem going forward will be the play of his forwards. Jozy Altidore should spend less time filming commercials, and more time actually playing soccer. He and the rest of the American forwards went goalless throughout the World Cup. All five American goals were scored by midfielders.

Speaking of scoring midfielders, a British tabloid has said it will run a story on a woman who claims to be carry Landon’s seed. Now, I’m no marriage counselor, but I’m pretty sure this won’t help save his ‘previously ruined, but now fixed’ marriage. has learned that a British tabloid is set to run a story in which a U.K. woman says she is pregnant with Donovan’s child.

Donovan has been separated for nearly a year from his wife, actress Bianca Kajlich, though they are not yet legally divorced. They have no children.

“I was informed of the possibility during the World Cup, and if I need to take responsibility, then I will provide the appropriate support,” Donovan told “This is a private matter and I will refrain from further comment at this time.”

These are pretty dark times for American soccer. The way easiest way for soccer to gain more interest in America is if the national team wins a big tournament. The national team can’t win a big tournament until our best athletes start playing soccer. Our best athletes don’t want to play soccer, because soccer is gay and has ties. It’s a vicious cycle, which as an American pisses me off. If there’s anything that Americans love, it’s beating other countries. Whether it’s war, soccer, or swimming Americans hate to lose, especially to people with funny accents. For example, John Cleese.


Why do we still call it soccer? Because football is way more badass, and our country is better than yours. Have you read a history book recently, John? Remember the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and World War II? Well I do, and the next time you bitch about the way I name things, just remember how we put a man on the moon, and your country is lead by family who bangs each other. And that, my friends, is gross as hell.

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