‘…BRING A NICKEL, TAP YOUR MEAT.’

03.09.10 9 years ago 4 Comments

The Morning Meat is a veritable treasure trove of news, scores and links to jump-start your waste of a day. Come on, it’s not like you can’t put all that other crap off until tomorrow. Img [NSFW]

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THE BACON.

Sat, for the second consecutive game Monday night, Cleveland Cavaliers guard LeBron James, due to an ankle injury. Cleveland, also missing Shaquille O’Neal and, after an in-game injury, Antawn Jamison, managed to hold off the Spurs anyway, 97-95. Reports of LeBron’s injury came into question when he was spotted jumping up and down on his bed after “calling in sick.”

To be paid, today, a $1.5 million roster bonus, to Philadelphia Eagles quaterback Michael Vick. The Eagles reportedly were reluctant to cut Vick based on his perceived value in the free agent market. Plus, if Donovan McNabb doesn’t have herpes by now, what’s another year?

Donated, to South Africa from the United Kingdom, 1 million pounds (about $1.5 million US), for the purchase of condoms to accommodate the 450,000 visitors expected in that country for soccer’s upcoming World Cup. Reportedly, 5 million people in South Africa are infected with HIV, which is a lot for a country without a serious reputation for doing anal.

THE EGGS.

WCC. St. Mary’s 81, No. 18 Gonzaga 62.

MAAC. Siena 72, Fairfield 65, OT.

Summit. IUPUI 69, Oral Roberts 65. A 69 usually beats Oral, unless you’ve had a tough day and don’t feel like immediately reciprocating.

THE LINKS.

  • America needs more Spider-Man soccer celebrations. This goal, by itself, was way better than Spider-Man 3

    Outside The Boxscore.

  • It’s time to fire up the IUPUI bandwagon. Fortunately, if they make the NCAAs, it won’t need much gas.

    Rumors & Rants.

  • Does the “L” in “LPGA” stand for “boobs?” Because it totally should.

    Bleacher Report.

  • Writing a romantic comedy is so easy, even you can do it!

    Uproxx.

  • Chicks dressed up as superheroes. Chicks, man…

    Comics Alliance.

  • A handful of inventions stolen from Nikola Tesla. Hey, don’t look at me! I didn’t do it.

    Uproxx.

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