There aren’t many great things about living in this timeline. It’s a universe filled with poverty and war and climate change and a lot of things online that will make you mad. But one of the good things about this thread of the existence is that, once upon a time, Old Spice let Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim direct some commercials with a shirtless, pec-flexing Terry Crews.
There was really nothing like it in advertising before, but it signaled a very new, very weird brand of commercials from a lot of different companies trying to lure millennials into buying their wares. That impact has ripped even into small-time local commercials for energy companies that feature professional punters.
Cleveland Browns punter Britton Colquitt embraces the oddness in this local commercial that made the rounds on Twitter this week. It’s completely insane, and has a twist even I didn’t see coming. Let’s enjoy it together, shall we?
The plot of the commercial is as follows: Colquitt is hanging out in an otherwise empty Browns stadium on the bench and notices two people in the middle of the field flossing — you know, like the dance. He runs up to them and asks what the hell is going on, then gets jealous that his current energy solution for his home does not make him want to dance.
Presumably, he signs up with this company because the next thing we know, the Browns punter is attempting to floss on his own.