Can We Please Talk About Cam Newton’s Pants?

Senior Editor
09.22.14 21 Comments

The Panthers got destroyed by the Steelers on Sunday Night Football, 37-19. But let’s not talk about the game, let’s talk about Cam Newton’s pants. The ones he wore in the post-game press conference.

Now, to be fair, I’m sitting in boxers right now. If I put on pants today, it’ll be a minor miracle. A few weeks ago I went commando to the grocery story and didn’t realize I had a gaping hole in my shorts. So yes, I’m the last person to talk about fashion. I’m the last person who should talk about what’s hip and what’s trendy.

So I went to the UPROXX staff to get a better idea of WTF I was looking at. Was it leggings, was it Lululemon, was it skinny jeans?

The first comment came from Stacey Ritzen. You may know her as the talented writer who covers off-beat news here, specifically ones pertaining to penises and vaginas. Stacey knows nothing about sports. Stacey knows nothing about football.


“Wait that guy is a football player? I would have honestly thought he was a judge on America’s Next Top Model or something.”

And then UPROXX’s resident Panthers fans, Kris Maske and Josh Kurp weighed-in.

Kris Maske
:

“I hear Cam had to work a shift at Lane Bryant right after the game. nbd.”

Josh Kurp:


“NOT LISTENING LA LA LA LA LA.”

So I still haven’t gotten an answer to what Cam’s wearing. Did he raid Dwyane Wade’s closet? Is he trying to be the NFL’s Russell Westbrook?

Someone help me here! I need to know if this is how I should dress. I want to be part of the cool kids club you guys.

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