FlipBoardA late start today means that this story has spread like a, um, wildfire… but nevertheless, I feel compelled to speak of the plight of one "A.B.," a teenage girl who's suing the St Louis Cardinals for helping spread nasty rumors about her, rumors that spread like, uhhhh, room-temperature butter on a hot piece of toast.
The message appeared on a scoreboard that allows fans to display custom remarks via their cell phones. According to the lawsuit, she was at a game with her high school in May 2006 when a female classmate sent the offending message.
It claimed the plaintiff “has an STD! Eww!” […] Almost all of her friends were at the game, the suit says, and afterwards “boys that she was friends with would no longer associate” with her.
There's an entire treatment clinic full of jokes I could tell here, but since it's the USMC birthday, I'll share a story instead: a Marine I knew came home early from a six-month deployment on a MEU because he got an STD in his eye. He had brokered a deal with a Thai hooker and wore a condom during the act, but it was hot in the room, and it's not like you stop having sex to wash your hands when you wipe sweat out of your eyes.
So keep that in mind when you go to Thailand: condoms are essential, but don't forget rubber gloves and goggles too. It sounds like a lot of work, but you should already have those on hand if you're planning ahead to get rid of the body.
[Deadspin and everyone else]
Eye-fucking is just an expression.
Also handy to lay down a tarp before the hooker arrives. Unless you want blood splatters on your nice Ikea furniture.
I saw on The Nina Bedford Show that toast-fucking is really catching on.
Th-eye-land?
That's weird…. I always considered just being a Cardinals fan an STD
In the Cardinals' defense, STD in Missouri-speak stands for "Skoal Tobacco Dependency," which would make the young lady extremely popular in Mullet-Land.
The ground is frozen over on the east coast now, and all this talk of hookers really chokes me up because its so hard to dispose of the bodies. Now its all about finding a fast moving body of water, but its just so much easier in the spring.
Oh, and that little slut? she does have an STD… the whore gave me the clap and I had to spend a month and a half convincing my wife she gave it to us and it was just dormant. I'm glad her friends put her on blast.
Apparently, AB does not have a three lock box.
+1 My Feet Are Huge
This chick has no case. High school boys, when it comes down to it, couldnt care less if you have an STD. They just want to fuck.
When I was 16 and some chick with herpes wanted to fuck I'd just say "Well, I'll just have to be quick!" and hit it.
Oh look, an AA convention.
The St. Louis girl probably got her STD by taking it in the Pujols. Or from that one Rolen the hay.
Well done WDYA.
Nothing says venereal disease like Sammy Hagar.
Where
your seatbeltprotection kids,DUI'sSTD's can be deadly./Josh Hancock
The St. Louis girl probably got her STD by taking it in the Pujols. Or from that one Rolen the hay.
I heard the girl took it in the Isringhausen then in the Edmonds. Wait I don't think I'm doing the joke right.
*Wear
Fuck.
condoms are essential, but don't forget rubber gloves and goggles too
Sounds like my middle school shop class
ahh enrico, the long lost pedifial/homoerotic blog poster, every site must have one of you to succeed
boys that she was friends with
I believe that is guys she was banging. That must have been a special group of guys if she suing over no longer being able to secure their services.
barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,
barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,barstoolsports.com,
Bluntblazin Freak fuck off with your shameless self promotion. I can't stand seeing that on my computer while I'm sitting in my office at Daimler Chrysler, where we only sell quality vehicles at superior, affordable prices.
condoms are essential, but don't forget rubber gloves and goggles too
Rain coat, duct tape, cynder block, rope, 2×4 if they still keep kicking.
"But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite."
Careless: What the fuck man?!?!? You are feeding the fire! If my boss, here at James and Briggs Law firm, sees this shit on my Dell desk top computer, my only source of income will be from my hoes, located on Washington and 5th who are tested weekly.
merk, still not funny, give up and change your name
Nice avatar, Merk-Merk, you are so fresh. Thanks for reminding me who Dwight Schrute was. That is sooo fresh. Was the Boner from Growing Pains avatar unavailable. Burn in hell, attacking classic WL commenters is a bootable offense.
Classic WL commentors? merk is beyond not funny and youre just pedifialish and serial killer type which neither are funny. Try being just normal funny, not al lfucking weird and maybe people wont hate yo
Who died and made you home base umpire, Palazzo? Go back to your peephole. Boo-yah!
Cool! When did the chick fight start?