Good news, people who enjoy watching children spell comically difficult words that you didn’t actually know were words: the Scripps National Spelling Bee is on tonight. But there is tomfoolery afoot in this year’s competition, as a bunch of arrogant runts won’t stop dabbing.
That’s right, dabbing – the dance move that single-handedly prevented the Carolina Panthers from winning a Super Bowl this year – has invaded the Spelling Bee, the purest form of competition on the planet. Gone are the days where children are doing this for the love of words, now they’re just a bunch of cocky jerk faces who disrespect their opponents and the high-character spellers who came before them with the hopes of earning a moment in the spotlight.
And just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, those dastardly Panthers decided to enable these brats by tweeting at them and letting them know what they should expect.
Angry letters, Carolina Panthers? These kids should expect angry letters? Maybe they should expect better from their role models, like Cam Newton, who dabs and for that reason he is bad.
Please, in the name of all that is good in this world, let there be one child on that stage who does not dab. That kid deserves to win for doing things the right way, which is all that matters in this messed up world in which we live.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: please do not take a single word in this post seriously and dab like the fate of the world depends on it, spellers.)