Four Days Before UFC 159 And Suddenly Chael Sonnen Is Jon Jones’ Biggest Fan

Pro Wrestling Editor
04.23.13 8 Comments


Chael Sonnen has a big fight coming up on the 27th at UFC 159 against UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon ‘Bones’ Jones. About now is when you’d expect The American Gangster to go Full Chael Sonnen and start cutting promos about how he could beat Bones with both arms and a leg tied behind his back. About how if the fight goes longer than a round he’ll take off his fightshorts and eat them in front of New Jersey. After all, when Jones refused to fight him on short notice at UFC 151, Sonnen called Bones every name he could think of, from “bratty, entitled kid” to “chicken shhhh.”

Sorry. You aren’t getting that this time. This time, they’re BFF.

To get you hyped for UFC 159, here’s a paragraph of transcript from the pre-fight conference call featuring Chael kissing Jon’s ass so hard he might force a ref stoppage. Either that, or Sonnen’s trying to work in Chuck Norris jokes facetiously.

“As great as Jon is, I don’t think he understands how good he is. For him to pay tribute to Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali earlier was a very nice thing for him to do. The reality is, Jon Jones could beat up Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali in the same day. And when he says he wants to be the best ever – Jon, news flash, buddy – you are the best. As far as tying Tito Ortiz, yeah maybe he had a couple more wins, but he hasn’t had the competition that you’ve faced. He’s the world champion, he’s the best in the weight class and he’s the best the weight class has ever seen.”

That’s all well and good, but someone made the mistake of asking Chael to compare Bones and Anderson Silva.

Remember back at UFC 117, when Chael Sonnen faced Anderson Silva, submitted to a triangle armbar and lost the fight? Remember the rematch at UFC 148, when Chael went for a spinning backfist and fell on his ass, allowing Silva to just kinda stiff arm him against the cage and punch him in the head until the ref stopped the fight? Chael Sonnen doesn’t!

“Here’s the reality with Anderson – I stomped that guy. And you can pick up his little arm as many times as you want and call him the winner, but the fact is, I whipped his ass for 30 minutes, he got the jump on me for less than 30 seconds. He never knocked me down, I fell down. They say Anderson’s the best pound-for-pound, he’s not the best round-for-round. I have three 10-8 rounds in my entire career, I’ve fought 49 men. Three rounds of my whole life are 10-8 – that’s the gymanstics equivalent to a perfect 10 – it doesn’t happen in this sport, I doubt anyone on this call even has a 10-8 round. I’ve got three of them – they’re all against Anderson Silva. If you think Jon and Anderson are even close, I will run through Jon because I ran through Anderson. Now, I don’t think they’re close, I think Jon is considerably better than Anderson. But sometimes I hear that I don’t deserve this fight or that I’m not the right guy, but then I hear that Anderson could beat him. Well, you’ve got to be kidding me, I stomped Anderson Silva – twice.”

I really hope UFC 159’s main is just Chael walking forward with his eyes closed, arms out, kissing the air and Bones kicking him to death. Extra points if Jones then removes some sort of Scooby-Doo villain prosthetic and reveals himself to be Silva in lifts.

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