https://twitter.com/LOV_app/status/811104147797921793
Was a security guard masturbating in front of cheerleaders at a San Diego Chargers game? The above video appears that one was. That guy is really cranking it, or he has a horrible itch. Deadspin got in touch with both Elite Security, which works games at Qualcomm Field, and the Chargers themselves, and both are looking into the alleged incident.
Statement from Elite Security:
Elite has become aware of the social media post of inappropriate actions of an Elite staff member at Qualcomm Stadium on December 18th. Elite has employed thousands of people over the past 21 years, insists on the highest moral standards from our employees and regrets this isolated incident. Elite is currently investigating the incident and has no additional comment at this time.
Statement from the San Diego Chargers:
We are aware of the disturbing actions of an Elite security staff member at Sunday’s game. We apologize to any fans who may have witnessed the incident. Elite Security is currently investigating the incident and has vowed to take immediate and appropriate action.
If you’re like me — there’s no way you’re like me — you spent 15 minutes watching the alleged masturbator and compared the field in that video to the one in Chargers highlights because part of you felt this was fake. Doesn’t it feel fake? Why is the zooming so tight? Why don’t we see the rest of the field? Why is the supposed security guard in the video so close to the boundary? How in the name of all things holy is no one screaming at this guy doing it in plain sight?
But after way too much research, it is plausible. At one of the end of the stadium, the wall is much higher and those yellow dashes in the video are very bright, so suspicions are understandable.
There’s no way it happened at the end, where the Chargers and Raiders scored all their touchdowns Sunday. But you can clearly see a guy in a red shirt to the right of the goal post standing right on top of the end zone. So like anyone with a college degree out to confirm the veracity of a video that shows a man perhaps masturbating in his pants, I went back and watched older clips.
Here’s the other end zone, and the geography of the dashed lines and the security guard make the masturbator seem more plausible.
So yeah, there’s a good chance this happened. The chance is so good that by the time I got done with wild masturbating conspiracy theory, TMZ reported the security guard was fired and a criminal investigation has begun.
