Chiefs To Bowe: Bros Before Hoes

05.25.10 9 years ago 8 Comments

Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe has made a name for himself with his ability to literally drop the ball, and now he’s expanding his repertoire into the figurative realm. Bowe told ESPN the Magazine the lurid details of his veteran teammates using MySpace and Facebook to recruit female groupies to wait for the players in their hotel rooms when they would arrive for road trips. I think I speak for heterosexual males across the globe when I say: Dwayne. Dude.

Ol’ Blabbermouth explained that he first became aware of these social networking sexcapades as a rookie when the team played at San Diego and his elder teammates went as far as to fly girls into town for some… consultation. The girls, in turn, used Internet resources to learn about the players, both on and off the field, to create a feeling of comfort before they got down to the sexin’. It’s unknown whether or not the players paid the girls for sex, but if they did I’m sure Dwayne will let Sports Illustrated know all about it.

Accept my friend request, Kansas City Star:

“Anyway, these girls had the whole top floor. They know everything about us — first and last names, sisters and brothers, salary. This one girl was talking to me like she’d known me for years. ‘Hey, D-Bowe, how’s Grandma?’

“I’m like, ‘How do you know my grandma?’ She knew that I talk about her every time I’m interviewed for a story. I told her I had a girlfriend, but she didn’t care. She was wearing my jersey, sitting in my lap, making it look like we knew each other. Then she took a picture and put it on Facebook. That almost got me in trouble.”

Bowe has since met with Chiefs coach Todd Haley and the pair has been silent with the media in regard to further details. Bowe’s teammates, in the meantime, have signed the inconsistent receiver up for a Foursquare account so he can locate his talent.

This is Bowe’s second gaffe in a week, as he’s also managed to upset gay and lesbian groups after an interview on the ESPN Radio show “What’s Wright with Nick Wright” (Ed: HURRRRRR). Bowe likened Matt Cassell to his on-field “girlfriend” and then added the obligatory “No homo” to clear up any confusion. “No homo” roughly translates into “I would like to point out for clarification that there is no homosexual orientation behind my previous comments,” and is popularly used among athletes and rappers. Regardless, blogger Jim Buzinski of took offense:

At least he cleared up his sexual orientation. I wouldn’t want anyone to think someone as moronic as Bowe is a homo. It gives us all a bad name.

Yup, that’s a burn. And it’s FABULOUSSSSSSSSSS!

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