Chill, Hockey Bros: Barack Obama Knows How To End The NHL Lockout

Senior Writer
10.25.12 6 Comments

As a disclaimer, I hate politics and would like to just be able to bury my money in strategic places around my property and surround those spots with landmines Ron Swanson style, but we can’t really help but ignore politics when our leaders like to use sports as a distraction and our current President is such a huge sports nut. The latest example of Barack Obama’s sports knowledge was on display last night, as he appeared on The Tonight Show with Chin Unfunnyton, who asked the Commander-in-Chief various questions that were submitted by regular people like you or me.

One Average Jaromir submitted a question to Barry O regarding the current NHL lockout, and it was about as meaningless as you’d expect.

Mike from Los Angeles: “Can you pull some strings to end the NHL Lockout?”

Finally, someone is asking a question about solving unemployment. Of course, a better question may have been, “How can the owners and players union reach an agreement?” or “How would you help them find a middle ground?” or “What about the Ice Girls, won’t somebody think of the Ice Girls?” But nevertheless, Obama had an answer ready to go.

“I do have a comment on this [Thanks, Perd. – ed]. Every time these things happen I just want to remind the owners and players: You guys make money because you’ve got a whole bunch of fans out there who are working really hard — they buy tickets, they’re watching on TV. Y’all should be able to figure this out. Get this done.”

*inhales deeply* Mmmmmmmm, that’s some fresh political jibberish for today. However, in B-Bomb’s defense, I didn’t expect much out of him because I’m sure his staff looked at the NHL’s ratings from last season and told him, “Yeah, we’re not too concerned about winning the hockey fan vote so we’ll focus on MLS fans and the World Series of Poker.”

I’m just kidding, NHL fans. I know you’re sad. I just want to make you smile and show those pearly whites that surround the missing front tooth. Be patient, your day will come.

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