AL — Few things in baseball are as delicious as the late-season collapse. The White Sox, AL Central leaders for almost the entire season, now stand on the Mets-like precipice, as they lost the second straight game of their series with the Twins, 3-2. Minnesota is now just half a game back in the final week of the season… The Rays rallied from six runs down to win 11-6 and reduce their magic number to one. Reason it’s not impressive: the other team was the Orioles.
NL — Say, how are those Mets doing? Oh… CC Sabathia, working on four days’ rest, shut down the Pirates as the Brewers pulled into a tie for the wild card lead. The Dodgers earned at least a share of the NL West title by defeating the Padres 12-4. Manny Ramirez and Nomar Garciaparra both homered in the win, then agreed that LA sucks way less than Boston… Adam Wainwright shut down the Diamondbacks 4-2 as Arizona’s playoffs hopes dwindled to the size of your penis. That’s a burn.
NFL — The Giants suspended wide receiver Plaxico Burress for one game. Bad news for my fantasy team, good news for my Seahawks, who play the Giants after their bye… A witness in the O.J. Simpson trial says it was Simpson’s idea to bring the guns so the victims “knew they meant business.” Another way to show someone you mean business: reading glasses and a briefcase.