11.25.08 10 years ago 12 Comments

Redskins tight end Chris Cooley (not pictured; that’s his wife Christy) has come through with another gem on his blog.  This one is a splendidly homoerotic tale of celebration following the ‘Skins’ victory over the Seahawks on Sunday.  Following an attention-grabbing lede (“There is no better way to celebrate a win than getting grabbed and punched in the balls by a bunch of offensive lineman on the bus”), Cooley goes on to explain his quality time with teammates:

Last Thursday in practice… I had just finished off my block and turned back to see [a teammate] wallowing around on his hands and knees trying to get back to his feet. I don’t really know why, but I thought it would be funny as hell to air hump him in while he was down…

So, back to the bus, when the game ends I usually load up on bus #2 and move towards the back with the offensive line, [tight end Todd] Yoder, and the kickers. Kind of our little after the game club.

We call it “The White Guys on the Team Club.”

After Sunday nights game I was getting all kinds of hell about what was going to happen to me when I fell asleep on the plane due to the whole air humping thing.  You know, asses on your face, dicks drawn on you forehead, or the very popular picture of you sleeping with someone’s balls touching you then getting the photo texted to your phone in the morning prank. So I went back to entertain a little pre-plane wrestling match and take care of business. Before I knew it I was held down on the floor being manhandled and punched in the crotch, oh yea, I got air humped in retaliation while I was down too.

Yeahhhhhhh… “air” humped.  Sure buddy.

In all honesty, Cooley’s refreshingly candid about a bunch of grown men acting like teenage boys, which is something I’d make fun of if I didn’t still laugh any time someone says “penis” is public.

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