Congratulations On Your Wife’s Marriage, Kris Humphries

Senior Writer
08.25.11 12 Comments

People Magazine paid Kim Kardashian $1.5 million for the exclusive rights to publish her wedding photos in its latest issue, and I say that they only paid Kim because she’s the only person on the cover of this issue. Forget about that guy she married – New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries – because this isn’t about him. He’s just the dude who put the ring on her airbrushed finger.

But aside from the obvious, that this is just the first indication that Humphries is just along for a reality career that has been planned out slightly better than Paris Hilton’s, maybe there’s a perfectly good reason that only Kim, who is famous because she let Brandy’s brother mount her like a Shetland pony, appears on the cover of People’s wedding issue.

“It’s all about the bride. We wanted her. It’s her day, we wanted her on the cover,” said Garcia.

“He’s got a little height on her,” added Garcia of the New Jersey Nets forward. “It’s kind of tough to get them in the [same] shot.” (Via The Hollywood Reporter, which also points out that Arsenio Hall is still alive)

Translated: “We’re just saving some time and effort for her next wedding cover shoot.”

Whatever, it’s not like this is the first time that Kim has been on the cover of People without Kris…

Of course, she met Kris soon after, dated him for 6 months, and got E! to shell out all that money for an engagement ring and a wedding. It’s funny how love works.

LEAST SHOCKING UPDATE EVER: Kim’s mom, Kris Jenners, is now managing Humphries’ career. That means that whenever the NBA lockout ends, the guy who many predicted could be a value addition as a power forward will send his mother-in-law to the bargaining table. I almost want the lockout to end now so we can get ready to heckle.

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