Sports

Cool Rape Jokes, War Machine

Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver has made lots of great decisions in his life, including:

1. Legally changing his name to War Machine to fight a copyright claim from a “f*ggot ass” pro wrestling company
2. Posting on Myspace about how he hoped President Obama would be assassinated
3. Fighting people outside of gay clubs
4. Getting his porn star girlfriend’s name tattooed in giant letters across his neck, and having “PROPERTY OF WAR MACHINE” tattooed on her shoulder
5. Getting so mad at 4Chan trolling him on Twitter that he punched himself (HIMSELF) in the face

His latest awesome, constructive decision was to tell everyone on Twitter about how he forced sex on his girlfriend, and how everyone should follow his lead. Hahaha, no, seriously.

When people were like, “uh, dude” about him adding a tongue-sticking-out emoticon to a sentence about how he raped somebody, War Machine clarified his point.

Real men rape. (Their GF’s and wives, not strangers, don’t get your panties in a bunch.)

Well, to his credit, she DOES have “property of War Machine” tattooed on her body forever. I don’t know what kind of legal rights that gives you, but I’m not an MMA Logistical Scientist.

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